{"id":7222,"date":"2026-02-02T18:17:18","date_gmt":"2026-02-02T18:17:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ikuk.arminfonews.ru\/?p=7222"},"modified":"2026-02-02T18:17:18","modified_gmt":"2026-02-02T18:17:18","slug":"enka-silloin-enaa-pystynyt-vaieten-kestamaan","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ikuk.arminfonews.ru\/?p=7222","title":{"rendered":"Enk\u00e4 silloin en\u00e4\u00e4 pystynyt vaieten kest\u00e4m\u00e4\u00e4n."},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Laskin laukkuni lattialle, riisuin keng\u00e4t, ripustin turkin varovasti naulakkoon \u2014 kuin olisin j\u00e4tt\u00e4nyt sille hyv\u00e4stit \u2014 ja vasta sitten katsoin poikaani.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2014 Mark, \u2014 sanoin hiljaa. \u2014 Muistatko, milloin kysyit viimeksi, mit\u00e4 minulle oikeasti kuuluu?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>H\u00e4n pys\u00e4htyi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2014 Milloin viimeksi kysyit, olenko v\u00e4synyt, sattuuko minuun, jaksanko her\u00e4t\u00e4 joka aamu? Ent\u00e4 terveyteni? \u2014 jatkoin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2014 \u00c4iti\u2026 t\u00e4m\u00e4 ei nyt liity t\u00e4h\u00e4n\u2026 \u2014 h\u00e4n mutisi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2014 Kyll\u00e4 liittyy. Teille min\u00e4 en ole ihminen, vaan pankkiautomaatti, \u2014 vastasin rauhallisesti. \u2014 En \u00e4iti. En nainen. Vain rahanl\u00e4hde.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Emma ysk\u00e4hti vaivautuneesti ja meni keitti\u00f6\u00f6n. J\u00e4imme kahdestaan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2014 Olen el\u00e4nyt koko el\u00e4m\u00e4ni teit\u00e4 varten, \u2014 sanoin. \u2014 Olen luopunut lomista, hoidosta, kauniista vaatteista. Muistatko, kun nauroit koulussa vanhalle takilleni? Sanoin, ettei se haittaa. Mutta se sattui.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>H\u00e4n laski katseensa.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2014 Tein t\u00f6it\u00e4 sairaana, uupuneena, ilman lomaa, koska \u201dpoika tarvitsee apua\u201d. Koska \u201dlapsilla on vaikea vaihe\u201d. Teill\u00e4 on aina vaikeaa. Minulla ei koskaan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u00c4\u00e4neni murtui.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"766\" src=\"https:\/\/ikuk.arminfonews.ru\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/snapedit_1770055017201-1024x766.jpeg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-7223\" srcset=\"https:\/\/ikuk.arminfonews.ru\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/snapedit_1770055017201-1024x766.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/ikuk.arminfonews.ru\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/snapedit_1770055017201-300x224.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/ikuk.arminfonews.ru\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/snapedit_1770055017201-768x575.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/ikuk.arminfonews.ru\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/snapedit_1770055017201-1536x1149.jpeg 1536w, https:\/\/ikuk.arminfonews.ru\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/snapedit_1770055017201-2048x1532.jpeg 2048w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2014 Kun is\u00e4si kuoli, j\u00e4in yksin teid\u00e4n kanssanne. Lupasin, ett\u00e4 teilt\u00e4 ei puutu mit\u00e4\u00e4n. Mutta samalla kadotin itseni.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Pyyhin kyyneleen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2014 T\u00e4m\u00e4 turkki ei ole ylellisyytt\u00e4, \u2014 sanoin. \u2014 Se on merkki siit\u00e4, ett\u00e4 valitsin itseni ensimm\u00e4ist\u00e4 kertaa. Viisikymment\u00e4kaksivuotiaana.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2014 Mutta\u2026 olemme perhe\u2026 \u2014 h\u00e4n kuiskasi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2014 Perhe tarkoittaa tukea molempiin suuntiin, \u2014 vastasin. \u2014 Ei yksipuolista uhrautumista.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>H\u00e4n istuutui ja peitti kasvonsa k\u00e4sill\u00e4\u00e4n.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2014 En tiennyt, ett\u00e4 sinulla oli noin raskasta\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2014 Koska en koskaan valittanut, \u2014 vastasin. \u2014 Hymyilin. Ja te totuitte siihen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sin\u00e4 iltana s\u00f6imme tuskin mit\u00e4\u00e4n.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Muutamaa p\u00e4iv\u00e4\u00e4 my\u00f6hemmin h\u00e4n soitti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Pelk\u00e4sin vastata.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2014 \u00c4iti\u2026 haluan pyyt\u00e4\u00e4 anteeksi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Olin hiljaa.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2014 Puhuimme Emman kanssa. Olet oikeassa. Selvi\u00e4mme itse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Tunsin helpotuksen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Kului kuukausi. Sitten toinen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>H\u00e4n ei en\u00e4\u00e4 pyyt\u00e4nyt rahaa. Soitti vain kysy\u00e4kseen, miten voin. K\u00e4vi useammin. Teki ostoksia puolestani. Kerran h\u00e4n maksoi tutkimukseni.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2014 Olet muuttunut, \u2014 h\u00e4n sanoi kerran.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2014 Huonompaan suuntaan?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2014 Ei. Olet el\u00e4v\u00e4.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Aloitin el\u00e4m\u00e4n uudelleen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>K\u00e4yn uimassa. Ostin itselleni kauniita asioita. K\u00e4vin kylpyl\u00e4ss\u00e4. Nautin kahvista ilman syyllisyytt\u00e4.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Eiv\u00e4tk\u00e4 lapseni hyl\u00e4nneet minua.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He alkoivat kunnioittaa minua.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Rakkaus ei ole uhrausta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Rakkaus on tasapainoa.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Olen 52-vuotias.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Enk\u00e4 ole en\u00e4\u00e4 \u201dmukava\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Olen oma itseni.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Laskin laukkuni lattialle, riisuin keng\u00e4t, ripustin turkin varovasti naulakkoon \u2014 kuin olisin j\u00e4tt\u00e4nyt sille hyv\u00e4stit \u2014 ja vasta sitten katsoin poikaani. \u2014 Mark, \n<a class=\"moretag\" href=\"https:\/\/ikuk.arminfonews.ru\/?p=7222\"> [...]<\/a>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7223,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,1,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7222","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-footto","category-uncategorised","category-video"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Enk\u00e4 silloin en\u00e4\u00e4 pystynyt vaieten kest\u00e4m\u00e4\u00e4n. -<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/ikuk.arminfonews.ru\/?p=7222\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"ru_RU\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Enk\u00e4 silloin en\u00e4\u00e4 pystynyt vaieten 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